U ever been so tired ur eyelids burn when u blink
Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough
Wealth is like sea-water; the more we drink, the thirstier we become; and the same is true of fame.
Some people smoke,
others drink, and others fall in love,
each one dies from a different way.
Do you ever just hate someone bc they remind you of yourself
hey what if someone invented a machine that allowed women to transfer their pregnancies to men and then the government passed a law that if a woman didn’t want to have a baby the biological father was required to carry it how fast do you think birth control would stop being an issue
BEST NIGHTBLOG POST EVER
"IT’S UNETHICAL TO FORCE PEOPLE TO CARRY A BABY!!!!" MEN SHOUT
"NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!" WOMEN REPLY
me: hey i’m kinda good at this writing thing
*reads other people’s writing*
me: i am a literary potato
does anybody else have that friend that you’re pretty sure is your soulmate but in a friend way
i want dogs to be allowed at more places and i want children under 6 to not be
When your heart is broken you plant seeds in the cracks and you pray for rain.